On Steven Slater…

August 15th, 2010

So, Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who got a gash on his head, got into multiple squabbles with the lady who apparently gave him the gash on the head, and punched out via the emergency slide (two beers in hand) after cussing out the problem passengers via the PA system… I’ m leaning more towards “unlikely plucky folk-hero” than “horrible jet-slide terrorist”.

I sympathize with his plight:  Dealing with ever-more pissed-off passengers who get crammed into constantly full/oversold flights that they can’t simply check luggage on because they’ll be charged an arm and a leg for the privilege… and probably dealing with the “we know how bad the economy is, just try and leave us” JetBlue management who, I imagine, treat their flight attendants like shit… considering they seem to have a problem with crazy ones (hat tip to ChaliceChick).  The only thing that didn’t make me energized with glee about the whole story is that he grabbed two beers on the way out… and he’s a recovering alcoholic.  It puts a tint on the “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”  vibe and turns it into a “fukitall” vibe.  I still say congrats to him and if I ever meet him (and if all the attention hasn’t turned him into a douche) I’d happily buy him a (non-alcoholic) drink.

To the people whining that  he was “rude” :  Screw off.  I say this first, because some of you were whining about profanity, and I never miss a chance to rustle the delicate constitutions of those who can’t deal with occasional outbursts of profanity in public.  It is my hope it keeps them inside and off of planes.  Secondly, because some other lady was whining that he didn’t rush to clean her seat where somebody spilled coffee.  Jeezus, like you can’t carry a napkin or a little pack of tissues or just use the in-flight magazine to wipe up a seat.  I call that poor preparation.

To the flight attendants/pilots/travel-blogs/airline afficionados whining that He Could Have Hurt Somebody with the slide, or that poor JetBlue now has repack the slide and put the plane out of comission for a couple of days:  Screw off.   The Ground Crew know that airplanes are dangerous things and they should be really, really, careful around doors, cargo hatches, and the oversized wood chippers that are modern turbofan engines.   Those running engines are the same things, I assure you, that kept any ground crew far, far away from the plane where they could have been smacked by an unexpected escape slide.  Also, there’s a window in the door, I’m sure Steven looked to make sure that someone wasn’t having a smoke break before he let go.  Finally, all carriers have spare planes.  If it wasn’t an emergency slide, it would have been one of the other of the thousands of problems that plague modern airplanes including, but not limited-to, weather, metal-fatigue, paint separation, and engine trouble… I’m also pretty sure you’re just jealous because he got to ride one of the slides in a non-emergency situation and you’ve only dreamed about it.

To JetBlue:  Learn from this.  Here are a few simple things I can read from the whole incident:

  1. Your flight attendants do not think you are a good/responsible employer, so much so that they’d rather ditch their career in a dramatic fashion (or try and get a woman with a young kid on a TSA Shit list lest a complaint be filed) than try to talk to the officers in charge of their satisfaction and safety within your ranks.  Maybe it’s time to ditch “the passenger is always right” policies and put in some protection against those that really are just assholes.  This is also something you can fix with Raises and Bonuses and More People than the Bare Minimum amongst all the other things you’ve likely done away with in the poor economy.
  2. Your passengers seem to be asshole prone.  This is more than likely the effect of being nickel-and-dimed and force to pack everything for the week-long trip into a single asshole bag lest they be charged one-day shipping rates… and then do a mad scramble to pick their seats and check in and arrive early lest they miss the bar for an oversold flight and not be allowed into a plane seat they paid for.   Raise ticket prices, enough so that you can allow a bag checked for free and target to only fill flights to 85% capacity.  Those who occasionally need to fly standby or bring on bags will LOVE it.  You can probably save lots of money on advertising and starting a viral/word-of-mouth campaign saying that you may cost a bit more but you’re totally worth it.
  3. People want to ride those slides.  I’m pretty sure you could make a bundle off an otherwise non-commissioned airplane if you popped all the slides and let people ride down ‘em for $20 a pop.  Make it fun.  Have a “Emergency Slide Yellow” MoonBounce nearby.

Dear Internet… Trespassing kids.

August 3rd, 2010

Dear Internet…

My backyard has become a shortcut for some kids that I do not know.

3/4ths of my back yard is surrounded by a 6-foot-tall privacy fence I just had installed last year.  The rear 1/4th of the fence  lies between our house and the parking lot of a church, is owned by said church, and is not the highest quality.  It took us a good 3 months to get boards replaced and posts reinforced by the church when we moved-in several years ago… and the semi-daily scaling of the fence by these kids has ruined it again.  The rapscallions also kept leaving the front gate open and it has since sagged.

Now, ruining the fence is one thing.   The other problem is that we don’t have curtains/blinds on the back of the house (because we have a 6-foot privacy fence).  Also, I don’t want some little whipper-snapper impaling themselves on a broken fencepost or falling headfirst onto a rock when no-one is around. Finally, the neighbors have taken to notifying us of the kid-festation of our yard which is always sort of unpleasant and embarrassing.

Last Sunday, we got a lock for our gate and patched up the broken rear fence in the hopes the kids would get the hint… but Eric just told me of another neighborly visit to inform us of kids coming out between my house and a neighbors house… which presumably means they just scaled our fences again.

I’m guessing the next step is to start posting “POSTED: PRIVATE PROPERTY NO TRESPASSING” signs (I’d also like to post a sign that says “beware of our new Caucasian Shepherd Dog“) on our gate and on the back of the back fence.

Other thoughts include calling the non-emergency police line for advice.  I will be home on Friday’s starting next month so I might actually be able to stake out the yard and start catching and confronting them… but at the same time I don’t know what to do beyond shaking my fist and going “Hey, stay out of my yard!”.  Maybe I can make fun of them for being lazy and not being able to walk the whole extra quarter mile to go around our neighborhood.

I imagine if it escalates I can start taking pictures of them trespassing, get in my car and tail them home… and then give their parents a copy of the pictures, a bill for the fence, and a warning that the next time cops will be called.

The other part of me just wants to make a path through to the church (as it would not only accommodate the kids… but the occasional buses full of lost folk looking for a back way into the church):  It would be a fun little project.  Move one wall of the fence back, put down some brickwork and little path lights… but that doesn’t exonerate me if they get hurt… and I’d be too tempted to rig up proximity sensitive stinkbombs.

Have any of you ever suffered trespassing children and the whole “Stay off my lawn, dammit!” ol’ man reaction?  Any suggestions?

They Don’t Know Video #018; 2011 Hyundai Sonata Rental Car

July 28th, 2010

In this video, I go over a 2011 Hyundai Sonata I got from Budget Rent-a-car

It’s pretty!  The engine makes 200 HP, which is the best of the mid-size 4-cylinders.  Also, because its one of the lightest mid-sized cars and has a 6-speed, it makes a class-leading 35 MPG on the highway.  Combine this with really nice tech on even the base model, and interior touches that remind me more of Lexus than Toyota… and you have me thoroughly impressed.  I think the version I have can be had for about $20,500.

epilonious@gmail.com
http://www.epilonious.net
aim/yim/skype: epilonious
voicemail: 678 701 3371

They Don’t Know Video #017; 2010 Nissan Altima 2.5S Rental Car

July 11th, 2010

In this video, I go over a Nissan Altima 2.5S I got from Budget Rent-a-car

It’s blue, actually has a 2.5 liter engine and was also much nicer than expected.  I think the version I have can be had for about $20,000.

epilonious@gmail.com
http://www.epilonious.net
aim/yim/skype: epilonious
voicemail: 678 701 3371

Dear Apple: You had me, and you lost me…

June 27th, 2010

So, a couple of weeks ago…  WWDC or some other Apple convention went up on the Internet… and I didn’t really care for a couple of reasons.

Apple’s focus is no longer computers: The iPhone 4 was the only thing at this convention.  At least it was the only thing I could find… These used to be big hardware releases and OS updates and new tweaks to programs and now it’s… the iPhone.   I didn’t really want an iPhone in 2008 and I don’t want one now…  and this was pretty soon after a keynote where they did nothing but pat themselves on the back over the supposed awesomeness of a really big iPod-touch (iPad).   Meanwhile, updates to laptops and desktops and the venerable Mac Mini are quietly released to the website and I’d have no idea about them if they weren’t rebroadcast by tech blogs… as if the macs are robbing time from the iPhone and iPad and their many new iGimmicks.  Also, we don’t even hear much about OS X anymore.  Now the focus is iOS… a neutered, locked-down phone OS notorious for its closed and coddled nature.

Meanwhile, the iPhone 4 is kind of shitty.  They’ve given it an external antenna you can thwart by holding it wrong.  They’ve made both sides of the phone glass which, while more scratch resistant, seem that much more likely to shatter catastrophically when dropped… and since this thing is small and slippery, it’s going to get dropped a lot.   They haven’t given it the ability to survive without a desktop computer (If you do not have iTunes installed somewhere, you will never be able to get your iPhone activated).  I read an excellent article about how Apple and it’s lead designers were dedicated to useful, durable functionality that understands and respects it’s user, and how this latest iPhone seems to be dropping that notion on to the pavement.

Also, my macbook is getting kind of shitty… but it’s more because iTunes is and OSX are getting updated every fortnight for yet another iPhone/iPad feature and each version is more bloated than the last.  I also keep wondering if I want to get a new apple laptop, or a mac mini, or just install iTunes on my PC and transfer everything over.  The allure/advantages of having an apple doohicky nicer than an iPod are starting to fade away… apparently so much so that Jobs isn’t even trying to hock them anymore.

Apple is being contradictory when it comes to developers: Look at OS-X, and you get all sorts of “based on open source” and “developed collaboratively” and all that pretty shiny… but then when you ask for a copy of the SDK… and you’re not a student… you have to pony up cash.  The iPhone exacerbates this:  You have to pay for the Development Kit, and then there is no guarantee that your program will be allowed in the app store…. and the only thing they seem to give you is an iPhone simulator as opposed to letting development stuff on the phone itself because they are really protective of their platform and revenue streams… So my understanding may be a bit off, but it seems like that means:  You end up paying money for an iPhone and a software development kit to make programs for the iPhone… but you will not be able to install your programs on your iPhone unless Apple says it’s okay and you’re okay with everyone in the world being able to buy it.  That’s kinda fucked-up.

Apple is being mean to other companies… and not even the right ones. So, Gizmondo wasn’t allowed to the keynote, which is understandable as Gizmondo paid money for a shadily obtained pre-release iPhone 4 and ruined the surprise for everyone…  But Apple also seems intent on punishing companies like Google and Adobe and Amazon for daring to stand up to them and call their tactics a blend of lazy and unfair/unprofessional… Accusations I mostly agree-with and find sort of sad considering that Apple got back into the PC game by chumming up with IBM and Microsoft.  I feel like Apple should be working with these companies.  Say stuff like “we’d love to have flash on our phones but we need to work with you on making it work with our stuff better…”  But they’re not doing that.  They’re just throwing temper tantrums and suing every other phone maker who happens to make a touch-responsive candybar phone and writing nasty public emails about other products and getting noticed by the justice department.  I feel like they are burning bridges with companies they used to work-well-with and even laud publicly and use to bolster their own superiority.

Meanwhile, the company I feel they should be punishing is AT&T.  AT&T is capping data usage and causing what I feel is a majority of iPhone complaints with crappy networks and service… they’ve bungled the last four iPhone releases with underprepared activation servers.   They’ve neutered their customer service reps and caused all sorts of unpleasant nerd rage.  Why can’t you scorn that company, Apple?  I know several people who would love an iPhone “If it weren’t for AT&T”.  You could probably double your US sales if you made a CDMA version… but not even letting tMobile have a shot at it is silly to me.

Steve Jobs is turning back into his old self:  Once, Steve Jobs was a visionary who guided a young company into a spotlight and convinced lots of investors to give that company oodles of money and ended up making lots of really cool and coveted products with it.  Then, his success turned him into a combination of Howard Hughes and Zapp Brannigan: Obsessive and controlling and foolhardily confident… and the CEO that he hired to run the company ended up firing him because he was that much of a pain in the ass.  Steve went off, found another software company, ended up helping Pixar do some really cool stuff, and apparently learned his lesson enough that Apple asked the magic to come back.  Jobs then turned the company around by going to each project, evaluating whether the public would find it imminently cool, and promoting/shitcanning appropriately.  Also, as much as I sort of fear and mistrust the man… I will happily admit that Steve Jobs is a divining rod at figuring out both what the public thinks is awesome, and the exact dollar amount they are willing to pay for it, (so Apple can charge $1 less).  But the thing that wrecks all that is haughtiness.  Steve got into a Poo-Don’t-Stink zone about the time the LC’s started rolling out and started going for more of what he wanted over what people were willing to pay-for… and I feel like that old Steve is coming back.  The iPhone 4 is an example of something that is not as good as it could have been.  It feels rushed and overhyped (even for an apple product) and like something allowed to sit too long in the reality distortion field.

Maybe it’s just because I’m becoming older: I loved apple when I was 8 and had a IIe and a eventually an LC.  I brought an old (but still useful) performa 6300CD to college with me along with my brothers old Gateway.   I lovingly acquired a 12″ powerbook as a graduation gift and then had a macbook given to me for Christmas the same year the old (but still useful) powerbook was stolen.  I have bought Apple products for people I love in my life and they were all well-received.  But maybe jobs felt my market (nerdy with disposable income but not particularly trendy) wasn’t good enough for him anymore.  Maybe he was expecting me to have kids that I’d want to give the iPhone-to.  But for the time being, I’ve just lost that lovin’ feeling.

They Don’t Know Video #016; 2010 Nissan Cube Rental Car

May 31st, 2010

In this video, I go over a Nissan Cube I got from Budget Rent-a-car

It’s white, actually has a 1.8 Liter engine (not 1.6) and was much nicer than expected.  I think the version I have can be had for about 16,500 (probably less if bought slightly used or haggled-for)

epilonious@gmail.com
http://www.epilonious.net
aim/yim/skype: epilonious
voicemail: 678 701 3371

Jet Lag/Insomnia 5:45AM, Quick Recap, To-Do list

May 26th, 2010

So, I’ve been up since 4:00 AM PST.   Jet Lag strikes again.  The sad thing is that I am not too distraught by it because it means I’ll have plenty of time to go to the gym, eat, and still get to work early.  Otherwise I think I am doing wonderfully considering:

  • I got back from Germany at 4:00 PM EST and made it home by about 6:30 PM EST on Monday.  I wathced Princess and the Frog and Blind Side again on the plane.  Washed clothes (but did not fold them, so there is a mini-mountain in the bedroom), re-packed and cleared out my work e-mail, started a massive podcast download to my new iPod (thank you Eric) and conked out at 9:00 PM EST (I had been up for roughly 20 hours.   I love East-West travel in the whole “I left at 11:00 AM and laded at 4:00 PM but I was in a plane for 10 hours” thing)
  • Woke up at 4:00 AM EST without feeling unrested.  Re-organized my backpack for work-travel.  Did some financial stuff (I’m going to have to increase my bank-account buffer due to work-expense-reimbursement lag.  Apparently Amex Corporate cards have a “it’s due on [date] but it’s not actually considered late until 45 days after [date] so that you can have a month and a half to get work reimbursements… but I’m not comfy letting ANYTHING slip past the due date).  Uploaded the rest of the pictures from the camera to my laptop and backed them up to the backup hard drive.  Showered.  Made chit-chat with Eric as he was up early too (He fell asleep the same time I did).  He was supposed to take Tuesday off but was gonna go in after laundry finished to get a jump start on Memorial Day Craziness.  Drove to the airport, Made my way from the economy lot to Terminal E via Security.  Did some training for work that came due while I was in Germany in the airport.  Got on the plane, sat on the plane for 45 minutes waiting for a trailing-edge delamination to get fixed (simple fix, but getting the cherry-picker to the plane for said fix is apparently an ordeal).  Sat in the air for 4.5 hours, got tomato juice, diet coke, coffee, and a bunch of peanuts.   We got free movies and shows because of the delay (Thanks Delta!)  and I watched Princess and the Frog again (Shaddup, I like it!).  I also watched Wanda Sykes “Im’a be me” and LAUGHED MY ASS OFF.  The people sitting next to me on the plane saw that I was laughing my ass off, and then watched it themselves.  Landed, Noticed SNA was the most crowded I have ever seen it (Tuesday Afternoon, hruh).  Made way to Budget with hopes of getting a Mustang Convertible for my birthday week treat… found that there was a wait and only one attendant in Budget’s “fast-break” booth.  Decided to not be a pain in the ass when there was a big line behind me and  just take the “Intermediate” rental they handed me and was pleasantly surprised with the resulting Nissan Altima.   Worked for 9 hours… went to the hotel.  Got a room near the elevator on the 4th floor.  Watched Glee (Love it!).  Fell asleep at 10:30.

What I plan to do for the rest of the week and weekend.

  • Worky work!  I have a lot to do but I am glad to be back and feeling invigorated.
  • Work Out:  I have my resistance bands, gloves, and changes of clothes.
  • Buy Undershirts:  Guess what I forgot to pack >.< .
  • Find a Primary Care Physician in Santa Ana and schedule a physical and the like.  (I am bad about scheduling/seeing doctors and my blood pressure seems to keep creeping up due to I-don’t-know-what… and I’m as-likely-as-not to be here in CA on weekdays)
  • My 29th Birthday is Tomorrow and I plan to Get a bunch of snacky sweet stuff for the office in the morning, and Drive to a restaurant and hang out with a local podcast listener and contributor for my Birthday in the evening.
  • I fly home Friday on the Redeye
  • Saturday Morning I have several errands and chores like Gym, Mowing the lawn, cleaning up Mount Laundry, and hopefully uploading my remaining Germany pictures to Facebook and my photo site.
  • Saturday Evening I have a Massive Rifftrax and Birthday party… and the movie is Avatar.  If you are reading this you are invited, if I managed to miss you in the invite list bug me for details.   But it’s basically 6:00 PM Dinner and 7:00 PM Movie and bring snacks and/or drinks you don’t mind sharing.  If you want to get me something I have patterns registered at Fry’s and Amazon.com and otherwise tend to like nerdy toys ;) .
  • Sunday will probably be spent cleaning up from said party and hanging out with Eric Family and maybe a few friends… Along with lazy traipses on the Internet and me finally uploading my video review of the Cube (and maybe the Altima if I have time).  I’ll also probably sit down and plan out a frugal budget to maximize savings for the 30th birthday Miata.
  • Monday I hope to hang with Mark and Joe a bit more assuming they aren’t super busy, perhaps camp out in their huge Master Bath.
  • and Tuesday it’s Back to Work.

Okay, I am off to the Gym.  Have a good week everyone.

Gleeky

May 13th, 2010

So, the second half of the first season of Glee is in full swing, and I have some things to say about it…

1.  I kind of felt the “awww, the first episode of the new season was more exposition and less pure glee awesome I remembered from the mid-season finale” that everyone else did.  I got over it, I hope everyone else did.  I also think the episodes, like the first half, just keep getting better.

2.  I may not always agree with everything Tom and Lorenzo have to say and love them for spending time on it and recapping the one-liners.

3.  For all the silliness, I do love the more serious moments in the show, and they always manage to make me cry a little.  I reach for the tissues when I see:  Sue with her Sister, and Kurt with his Dad.

Epilonious’ Shine and Shit lists for the week of May 3rd, 2010

May 8th, 2010

Make with the Shiny:

Budget Rent-A-Car, Santa Ana and LAX:  I rented a compact with you and was expecting some Corolla-equivalent (Forte, Elantra, Sentra) and you delightfully surprised me with a funky and conversation-inducing Nissan Cube.  Furthermore… when I had a DeltaPanic and switched my flight to LAX, you were able to let me drive to LAX for no additional fee.  Your lines were non-existent and your staff courteous and friendly.  Bravo and thank you!

Doubletree Santa Ana:  Your breakfasts were wonderful (as always) as were your cookies.  You corrected a mistake in my bill before I even asked you about it.  Your staff was courteous and friendly.  I was a bit worried when I got a room on the second floor overlooking the bus-stop… but I ended up falling asleep no problem thanks to the comfy comfy bed.

And now, the thing you’re really waiting for, the Shit List:

Quiznos near the airport doubletree:  I say “an italian, no onions and no lettuce”.  You usually comply with the onions and forget the lettuce… which isn’t too much of a pain in the ass, as I can scrape the lettuce off and eat it separately as a little salad.  THIS time, you complied with the lettuce and added onions… and they were nasty fragrant raw onions in wee bits, and by the time I scraped them off the sandwhich was onioney and ruined and I didn’t want to eat it anymore.  I will still eat there probably… But I’ll have to watch the prep people like a hawk and hold up the line being the picky dickhead, and I wish I didn’t have to be.

Delta Air Lines:  You called my cellphones (twice each, in rapid order) to tell me that the 9:40 PM flight out of Santa Ana/John Wayne airport was leaving at 10:30 instead.  This is troublesome, as the Santa Ana airport has a notoriously irritating 10:00 PM to 7:00 AM curfew on commercial flights due to all the really fancy homes just south of the airport.  So I am thinking “Oh God, they are gonna cancel my flight home”… and I had a full-on Delta panic.  Thus, I switched to the 11:55 flight out of LAX (through phone when I borked up on the website) and only got a seat request card (which made me worried I didn’t have an actual seat or something).  I got my seat… And while I was sitting in LAX, I checked the status of my old flight to see if it had been cancelled (for future reference should it happen again) and it was apparently on time and just fine.  Granted… this is more of a stinky than a full-on shitty, your attendants were delightful and helpful.  I was charged no change fees… but the whole thing stressed me the hell out… and the idea that if I hadn’t had my phones nearby it would have been fine irks me greatly.

American Haircuts:  I loved you and your quirky lather-shave of my neck-line and bawdy conversation… I made a reservation over the internet (how progressive!) for a new barber as my usual gal wasn’t available for Saturday at 1:00 PM…  I got there Saturday at 12:55 for a 1:00 PM appointment only to be told the barber I reserved was “a little late”.  Then… I sat for a half-hour.  I was never offered a different barber (I would have gladly taken it).  I was never told how long “a little behind” was (If you say “a half hour”… I can go to the gym or postpone gleefully to a less busy time or start asking things like “is there another barber?  The one I usually use wasn’t available so I’m not beholden to this one…”), unfortunately, none of this information was given… I thought it would be 10 minutes tops.  There were actually other barbers who were freed up (one went to Home Depot real quick while I was waiting).  Meanwhile the person working the front was obsessed over spackling the wall for upcoming renovations on Monday rather than, like, checking with me and chatting with me and making sure I wasn’t bored off my ass or whether I wouldn’t mind going with someone else.

I will likely not return.  I will probably retract all the good things I said about you to my friends and retell the tale of this fuckup over and over.  I feel like if I had walked in off the street I would have had an easier time of it.  I got a gift card to your establishment for a friend that really wanted to try a true barber shave… And now I almost want to see if I can trade it out with him for cash and then see if I can get a refund from you.  You won the pewter plunger award.

*Update:  I got an email from the haircut place, got an explanation (the guy ahead of me was getting a wedding cut and needed a beard trim which took tons of extra time).  I went back without making a reservation and it turned out fine.  I think my real problem with the place is their reservation system, which I can make do with not using.

Notes from Terminal E.

May 3rd, 2010

I’ve had my Mc- Southern Style Chicken Biscuit, and I’ve only slept 5 hours.  Let’s do this!

I am waiting in terminal E of the ATL airport… in a torrential downpour, and I’m pretty sure the wee 737-700 (also known as ‘overpowered sports bus, teeny edition’) will be taking off with no problems and on time.

Last week was rather rough.  There is this one Really Important Report that our team runs daily, but it’s complicated and has a brillion (highly technical term) steps and when I get tired and exasperated with it I tend to make mistakes much to the chagrin of everyone.  I have taken to calling it “the TPS Report” (pull up “Office Space” for a reference).  That being said, I ended up running it last night as I would be in the air with during the time it is normally run, and it took a while due to running on a slow laptop over VPN, so I went to bed around midnight last night… but I triple checked everything and there is a very good chance that it will actually make it out first run.   Most of this week will be spent automating and buttoning up steps (so it only takes half a brillion) and teaching other people how to run it so I can go to Germany… next week!!

In the meantime… Planes.  I have seen a lot of them… and if you follow me on twitter you will know I have started to call the hard-sided roll-aboard carry-on bags… “Asshole bags”.  It’s not so much that you are an asshole if you buy or use one… there is just a very good chance that when I see you blocking the aisle wrestling the (more often than not) overstuffed canvas sided steamer trunk with wheels into the overhead compartment… I’ll think “You Asshole…”.  The chances of this increase if you also shove in your backpack and coat and briefcase on a full flight… or if you are a slight person and/or old.

I refuse to get/use one of these things.  I use a large-ish (step up from “gym bag”) duffel that I love because it usually stuffs perfectly between the half-foot of space left by 3 roll-aboards in an overhead compartment.  I don’t carry fragiles items… and  I don’t bring a suit to work, so I just roll up my work-week’s worth of clothes and then iron the fancier bits the night I check into the hotel.

Whoop, there goes zone 3.  I’m off!